


Kicking Piss

by roysauce



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Sera has Opinions on the Inquisitor's decision to act as a decoy during the fall of Haven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28143087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roysauce/pseuds/roysauce
Summary: “You’re the Herald thingy, yea. But glowin’ doesn’t mean you can kick piss and not get wet!” Like frig she was letting him stay here with the Elder Tit and his oversized lap nug. At least, not alone she wasn’t. Stupid’s best done in groups. Or at least pairs. One person can always scrape the shite from the other, but if you’re alone, you can’t reach your back and then it’s all fucked.
Relationships: Male Inquisitor & Sera (Dragon Age), Male Lavellan & Sera (Dragon Age)
Kudos: 3





	Kicking Piss

**Author's Note:**

> Shorty after DA:I first dropped, I challenged myself to write something from Sera's POV. I ended up REALLY enjoying writing her, and proceeded to attempt a half a dozen one-shots and, later on, a full-fledged FemLavellen/Sera fic from her POV.
> 
> Fast forward to today, when I was leafing through my writing folder out of boredom and, after being reminded of DA:I by the recent DA:4 teaser, decided to delve into my DA:I folder. I ended up opening this piece and was hit with just how much I still love it even though it's a few years old (for context, I can usually barely stomach looking over something I've written a month ago without being struck with the urge to kill it with fire). It would be a shame to just let it collect dust, so I figured I'd post it.

“-Like nug spit you will!” They were friends. Or they were supposed to be. At least, Sera thought they were- they threw snowballs and played the arrows game and everything. Except now he’s got his sad elf face on. Sera hates the sad elf face, makes his ears go all droopy and wrong.

“Sera-”

“You’re the Herald thingy, yea. But glowin’ doesn’t mean you can kick piss and not get wet!” Like frig she was letting him stay here with the Elder Tit and his oversized lap nug. At least, not alone she wasn’t. Stupid’s best done in groups. Or at least pairs. One person can always scrape the shite from the other, but if you’re alone, you can’t reach your back and then it’s all fucked.

“There’s no time, Sera!” He meant it, too. Sir Fancy-Elf Lavellan was Happy because he was always, well... _that_. But that wasn’t now, his face wasn’t fun anymore, “You three need to-”

Then the ugly scale-spot screeched, crashing into the ground, and everything shook.

Something grabbed her and when she opened her eyes, she was in the air and Happy was getting farther away. “Muscles, put me down!” She was kicking her legs and flailing but the mountain of meat didn’t care. His arm was the worst belt around her waist as he foisted her over his shoulder and he didn’t even flinch when she bit him. Not even when the skin broke.

He shushed her the whole way up the hill, didn’t stop until they caught up with the people – now evacuating through the passage under the Chantry – and he finally set her down. Then he just stood there, like useless meat. Useless meat with big friggin’ horns who left Happy behind. He opened his useless mouth before she could give him a proper yelling at, “You can be angry later. For now, make the most of the time the Boss is giving us.” And then he was off, going to help some Inquisition small-pants or another.

Sera wanted to shoot something.

Why did the stupidest pricks sometimes get to make sense? Leaving Happy behind was wrong- you never forget a Friend, even if they want you to. But then there were all the little people caught in the middle, and little people sometimes rank higher than Friends, because Friends exist to help the little people, and without the little people there wouldn’t be any need for Friends.

It was a cycle or some crap – and exactly why Sera liked arrows more than thinking. She wasn’t good at that. The whole thinking bit. Things were either simple or they weren’t. They were only complicated for big hats making their big decisions who needed everything to be complicated or they’d have piss-all to work with. And Sera wasn’t a big hat, so it shouldn’t be her problem. Except, Happy was a big hat, so it was _his_ problem- and his problems were usually her problems.

So… was it her problem after all?

Augh- she didn’t want to think about it anymore. They left Happy. It was a shite move. End of. It was annoying, but done. They were already evacuating and if Happy’s plan worked, Haven could be tits up in snow any minute now.

Wait a second.

“Where’s Arrow?” Happy’s screaming elk-thing: Assa-whatever. Meant arrow in elfy speak, which didn’t really make much sense. If you’re gonna name something arrow, name it arrow, not something that _means_ arrow.

But that’s not what was important right now.

Happy- when Happy gets back- if that stupid thing dies he’ll be- “Varric!” Sera didn’t understand a lot of elfy things, but she knew the basics: hallas, frolicking, crummy gods, nature shite, funny tattoos. And elk-things. Elves loved their elk-things, and Happy loved Arrow. “Varric!” She was pushing people aside now, making her way towards the dwarf as he helped direct the flow of villagers. His head snapped around as she closed on him, Bianca still in hand, “Have you seen Arrow?” Happy had let him out of his pen on their way to the trebuchet. He had to be somewhere; big-arse deer don’t just disappear.

Varric’s lips pitched up into a frown, “Sera, Assan is the least of our-”

“Have you seen ‘im or haven’t you?!”

“I think I saw him with one of Leliana’s–” Sera was already gone.

Happy was going to come back- _he was_.

And that stupid screaming elk was gonna be waiting for him when he did.


End file.
